Let Us Give Thanks and Praise...?

"Eye of the Creator" by Mark Feifarek

I dwell in a world of diverse religions, beliefs and spiritual theories. I have chosen to adopt primarily those that are of universal truth and have experiential components. There is a phrase that has come to my attention of late, however, that has me rethinking my entire belief about it.

“Let us give thanks and praise.”

Now don’t tell me that does not reek of religious connotation; of course it does. Pretty much standard in liturgical churches, it has the Pentecostal and free-worshiping Christians dancing in the aisles, and singing songs to God, under the assumption that such activities greatly please Him. And why wouldn’t they? It’s a happy expression of all the good thoughts and feelings and experiences that we celebrate – feeling free enough to dance, even in this self-conscious age. A wonderful thing. For religions heavy on ritual and ceremony, liturgy and history, this is a mandatory time of reflection on the goodness that has been bestowed upon us, honored with silence, or chants of thanks, and recitations of blessings received.

But what about a person given more to the “natural” religions: Native Americanism, or the Eastern religions? To them, this is a quiet, contemplative or ritualistic time with the elements. A walk in the woods. Meditation in a field. Yoga on a rooftop.  A time to appreciate all that we are surrounded with, the beauty, bounty and blessing of it all. Again – a happy contemplation of all things good.

But to me the other day, it took on quite a different meaning and context. I had the distinct displeasure of having to visit with a social worker regarding energy assistance and some other issues that concerned Phil. At 8:45 in the morning, no less.

So, it was up and at ‘em and off to see the Wizard. I had never met my social worker face to face, but he was a small man of Asian descent. Very recent descent, judging by his accent, which at times was hard to understand. But he had a wonderful smile as he greeted me and we walked to his cubicle. He pulled my chair out for me. We proceeded through some rather depressing financial issues, and filled out screen upon screen of personal information. Talk during the computer phase of the appointment was small, but pleasant. During the initial interview, as I outlined a grim situation, I felt understood, and empathized with. He offered comfort in the form of, “I am sorry for that,” without making me feel like “poor you”. Rather, he conveyed that he was genuinely sorry that my family was enduing this current hardship. An hour and 15 minutes later, I left the building ready to start my day with a spring in my step. Not because everything went my way in there. In fact, I have a ream of documentation to collect, from all corners of the globe it seems, to get faxed in by the end of the week. But I am smiling. Why?

Because I just spent an hour and 15 minutes with a perfectly wonderful person. He radiated good vibes, if you will. His presence was a relaxing one, not one that had me on the edge of my chair. Regardless of the reason for me having to have been there in the first place, the meeting was altogether pleasant. We connected on a human level, and even though he sat in a position of authority, he saw me as equal – his fellow man – and that just because he was on that side of the desk and I was over here, I was never made to feel (as I so often have been) like you are somehow inferior to them. He was a friend, ready to help a person in need.

When I got home, I had eBay business to tend to. Seems my printer had printed the same label twice, so one customer got something she ordered AND something that was meant for someone else. The woman contacted me, and rather than send a rather bulky item back to me and then on to its proper destination, I asked if she would send it on for me if I e-mailed her a label. She said yes. However, I was not able to forward a label for some reason unknown to me, so she offered to send it on for me, and I could reimburse her via PayPal. Now, that’s a nice thing to do! I’m sure she is a busy woman with many things to do, and one of them is not to have to fix up my mistake! I thanked her, and asked her to invoice me for the postage.

When I arrive at my computer then, I see an e-mail from this woman. Expecting an invoice for the postage, I instead read a note that says, “Hi, Sally, I sent the package yesterday via Priority Mail.
This is a chance for me to pay it forward — so don't worry about reimbursing me. Have a great day!”  Somewhat surprised by the emotion this brought out in me, I started to tear up. This was such a kindness to me, with so much on my plate right now, to no longer have to worry about this. I was at a loss for words as to how to respond to that e-mail.

And then I had this epiphany. “Let us give thanks, and praise!”

The last time I heard this was in a Catholic church, and it made little sense to my current thinking.

Then I remembered a dream that I had a few nights prior. It was one of those dreams that was so real you woke up wondering if it really happened. It sounds frivolous, but I dreamed that we won the lottery. Eight million to be exact. Before taxes. Suddenly, my world changed. I was not expecting it. But it happened. My thoughts were no longer the kind we talk about around the campfire while chatting about what we would do if we won the lottery. No…this was far different. The magnitude of it was sobering. My first thoughts were profound relief, as the realization that I would never have to stress money again. I would never be having to sign forms for the electric company stating that my son is handicapped and cannot go without electricity, just to get at 21 day extension before disconnect. I would never have to explain why the mortgage is late again. Creditor calls would be a thing of the past. And I wept at the thought.

But then, the reality begins to sink in. I literally do not know what to do with all that money. I know what I have SAID I would do – we all say something like, “Yeah, I could just live off the interest.” Yes – you can – but how is that literally accomplished? What do you invest in? I am not ignorant of the stock market, but having never had money to invest in anything but basic survival, this is foreign territory to me!

And then people began to find out about it. Not many – I did not even tell all of my children. But the few that knew suddenly had a different look in their eyes when they looked at me. People who looked down to me before, now were not only looking me in the eye, but a slight looking UP at me. Expectant, like a dog waiting for a treat. A look of genuine friendliness. But again – not that they liked ME suddenly…they were looking past me to the money. Money was their friend – not me; and I suddenly had money in my home. “Can we come over and play?” was the look. They weren’t faking it, either. They really thought I was someone now to be looked up to – but there was only one difference between yesterday and today, as it were, and that was the infusion of money into my life.

And suddenly, I wanted no one to know. Just a very select few. No – do not change the way you view me because I am suddenly of financial worth. And suddenly, all the benevolent things that I had promised to do with this windfall should it have occurred, I am rethinking. Oh, the desire is still there to act upon. But now I understood the virtue of anonymity or at the very least a quiet gifting. No plaque on the wall, no diamond status in the club, no brick in the pavement commemorating my generosity. No thank you. Just let me do a good deed here and there, and pretend I am still the welfare mother on the corner whom you know and despise.

And I realized what a heady thing is was for me now, too. I FELT the danger of much money, and what it can do to your thinking – and feeling. I suddenly realized that if got bad service in a restaurant, knowing that I could buy and sell the place would cause me to require good service. I would not be found enduring a poor quality meal – no…I would request, not beg, that it be replaced. If I wanted to shop for a car, while I would still probably purchase a used one, I would not be put off by a car salesman steering me away from the brand new corvette I wanted to look at, by assuming it’s nothing I could afford. It would be the Pretty Woman scenario for me, baby! Payback for all the times someone refused me service, or made me beg for something, and treated me like a less-than because I had no money. I would never be rude, or arrogant, mind you – but I would be standing tall. I would be confident. I would not tolerate financial discrimination anymore. Because I suddenly KNEW what it was like to live on the other side of the fence in a way that only a dream can impact you with.

I began to think my generosity through to its logical conclusion: How many people I desire to help would really be helped in the long run? How many infusions of cash would be like cracking the eggshell before the chick hatched? Does that charity really handle their cash well? Will that person appreciate, say, the new car they had not earned themselves? Or would it be the first one in the junkyard, because, after all – they didn’t pay for it. Suddenly, I am the one to decide who will benefit and who will not. And it becomes a serious matter – not the lighthearted act of handing dollars out in the subway. Again, I am struck with the sobriety of it all.

So – back on point – what did all of this have to do with thanks, and praise? Well, the fact that I woke up and checked and we actually did NOT win the lottery brought me back to my current reality of having nothing. But over my morning coffee, I had yet another realization – another microcosmic epiphany, when I got phone call from a daughter for advice – for help – for wisdom – for affirmation. I sit, and chat, and smoke my cigarette and sip my coffee – and dispense from my mental font liberally. Casually. At length at time, brief snippets others. And at the end of it all I hear, “Thank you so much, Mom! I really needed to hear that!”

Bells, whistles and sirens all silently go off in my head. The same bells that would go off if I cut a check to someone to pay their mortgage. Just like they would if I wrote a check to a struggling business. Just like they would if I played Santa to a family in which there is none. Just like they would have if I purchased a handicap van for Phil’s sweetheart.

These things I cannot do. My bank account is empty. What then DO I have to give? I have lived on this planet for 46 years. I have taken some absurd risks. I have had some excellent adventures. I have raised nine children. I have loved good men. I have had my heart ripped out my ass by the horror film of fate, and lived to tell about it. I have visited 5-star hotels. I have camped in my car. I have done without plumbing and electricity. I have raised my own food. I have been on welfare. I have had a great job and a great education. I have learned much along the way…and each and every tear and laugh and smile and frown has been faithfully deposited in my LIFE account. I make deposits daily into THAT account. Why, if I look over that ledger, I have a wealth that no one can take away from me, I can never lose, and that is gaining interest exponentially. And to make a withdrawal, all I have to do is open my mouth, or uncap my pen.

And the feeling suddenly was much the same as having money on my side. If I want to know the price of that in-ground pool, I don’t want you steering me toward the used hot tubs, thinking that’s all I can afford. No – do not try to suggest to me that what I have to share with you is useless. Believe me, if Silent Sally is taking the time to tell you anything at all, I know what  I am talking about. I am not guessing, or writing you a rubber check of information. What you get from me you are free to accept or reject. Its funny how if you offer someone money they are all over it – but when you offer them the wisdom from a lifetime, they blow it off as if you just fell off the turnip truck.

But then there is the good stuff…the stuff that I have treasured most when making deposits in my LIFE account.

“Thank you.”

 “I love you.”

 “You’re beautiful.”

 “You did a great job!”

 “I really appreciate that.”

“I saw that. You worked hard on it and it shows.”

 “You matter to me.”

 “I like you.”

“I’m sorry.”

 “Let me do that for you.”

 “I understand.”

 “It’s not your fault.” 

An open door.

A hug.

An embrace.

A smile.

 A chuckle.

A nod.

Just a look across the room.

These things and others carry inestimable value; who is qualified to place a value on any of them? The only place they tally that stuff up is in the LIFE bank, where they keep your account private. No one can really know how much you have stored up there. But there is always enough. And there is more than enough to share.

But peruse the list again. How do we categorize these phrases? These blessings?  These invaluable deposits? They are just what people claim the Lord God himself is after: Thanks and Praise. Every one of the items on that list conveys thanks or praise. A pat on the back, and a statement of value. A confirmation of your worth. An extension of gratitude to you for something you have contributed. An affirmation. An atta-girl.

Suddenly, it all makes sense. It is not the third party abstract that either needs or wants thanks or praise. The creator has no need of it. The need for thanks or praise emanates from just that -  a point of need: the need to be validated. The need to be acknowledged. The need to be understood.  To know our life, our deeds, our actions are witnessed, and ratified. To complete the circle of giving. And the creator as I understand it (for lack of an appropriate pronoun), has none of these needs. These are a uniquely human characteristics. Even in the Christian Bible, the creator declares himself to be the I AM. All in all. Complete. Total. The Omni. In need of nothing. We, on the other hand, as creation – have an infinite list of needs.

We are all intimately connected to each other. No islands among us. Created to co-exist with others of the same basic genetic structure. Created with a need for our fellow man. Perhaps not all at once on a rubber-meets-the-road kind of day; but there is validity to the six degrees of separation theory, and it points to our connectedness.

And this…I do have to give. I can say thank you to the woman who paid my postage. I can send a letter of acknowledgment to my social worker for a job well done. A smile for the check-out girl. Letting the man at the supermarket with three things ahead of me and my cart loaded down with a months worth of sundries. A hug for the little kid in the wheelchair, whom no one wants to touch. All these things can be liberally given – and in a grand display of the law of reciprocity, they only add to your LIFE account, never subtract from it. 

This is a no-lose proposition. There is no down side to human generosity, or the “fruits of the spirit” – Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, self-control. Indeed, “against such there is no law!” Then they can be practiced without prejudice, without respect to any other idea or attitude. Without regard to time, place or person. They will never be the wrong thing to do. They have the same logical conclusion each time - and it’s good! “When I was a child, I thought and reasoned like a child…now that I am an adult – I will put away the childish things. All in pursuit of LOVE – against which there is no law!” There it is again! No restrictions – and no downside, and no loser! Win – win –win! You win: LIFE in your account. The recipient wins: They are affirmed, and made richer also. And the creator, however you view it, be it an anthropomorphized deity or a third party abstract, is fulfilled in having the intent and purpose of its creation performing in a way that furthers the growth and evolution of our spiritual species.  

I am thinking of times when I spent prolonged amounts of time and energy, trying to “thank” and “praise” a deity whom I thought was pleased by my efforts. I now picture this deity smiling at me like a mother being offered a freshly baked cookie from her child. A cookie she baked. He offers it to her in thanks for the whole batch of cookies. And while she may think the sentiment sweet, she gently suggests to the child that he take the cookie and give it to a sibling, or to a neighborhood kid who doesn’t perhaps get cookies very often. She has no need of a cookie – she can bake as many cookies as she wants. They were not made for her. They were made for the children to enjoy – and the children to share. Kind of like our planet – our lives. They were not made for “GOD” – they were made as an expression of god, for us to enjoy and share. We demonstrate our gladness and gratitude by thanking and praising each other – something that we all so desperately need. And something we are all capable of giving. 

Starting today, then…I will begin to offer thanks and praise on a daily basis, and reprogram into my thinking the ritualistic phrase I knew as a child, to be brought up often:

Let us give thanks and praise!