So…Why am I so apocalyptic in my thinking? Why do I share
all these annoying, somewhat preachy posts and pictures, with the old “The End
is Near” thing going on? Surely, I must come across as bit of a “negative nancy”
– the perfect image of some radical, angry woman, somewhat hysterical and
altogether avoidable. You might be surprised…I’m not exactly an extrovert. So
why would I peddle all this “anti-American” doom and gloom?
Good question, but you’d be remiss in thinking that I have
not asked this of myself to at least the 10th power.
Is it because I am some kind of survivalist with a real “Davy
Crocket” complex? Or perhaps a “green” peacenik revisited from the 60s? Nope.
Been there, done that. Yes, I’d love to do it again – but I know that it’s a
tough row to hoe, even with the safety net of a good economy. You can afford to
fuck it up once in a while, because you can always run into town to buy parts.
If there is no “town”, the stakes are a lot higher. But that is not why.
Maybe it’s because I was ejected from the system
financially, and like so many others who are losing so much more than I, I am
angry and hurt and want everyone to both know and feel my pain. A quest for
justice – a demand for equality. Because when you lose all your money in this
country, you will live through your own human devaluation. It is a humiliating
experience, which you cannot even live out loud – because the more you talk
about it, the less value you have. Now you are both poor AND whiney. A true
case of “you can’t win for losing”. Surely this is closer to the reason, but it’s
a small part.
Maybe it’s because once you reach the bottom of life’s
barrel, you are forced to really, REALLY reexamine your life. As if your life
depended on it. Because it does. You will either buy the bullshit society has
labeled you with, and proceed to continue in a sad, money-centered victim
existence for your unfortunate placement in the herd, (This is, after all, how we
behave…)or you will come out of the inventory with a whole new perspective.
Maybe somewhere within the hell of human devaluation, I took
a chance on questioning everything I had ever been taught to see if it was
true. And what if I found out that most of it was bullshit? And furthermore,
what if in the breaking of all my mental chains and habits I have found the
greatest source of inner peace that a human being can know?
Then what do you do?
It’s a “red pill or blue pill” thing. Take the blue pill and
chase my pathetic tail to death, or take the red pill and question everything.
Then as they say, “your reality goes bye-bye”.
What happens when your mind and understanding arrive at a
place you have never been before? At a time when you are looking up at the
bottom, when you are out of luck, out of gas and out of answers? And in surrendering
to that void, you find your mind opening up to the truth that you have been
seeking all your life? You suddenly and actually remember who you are. You are
a HUMAN BEING. And when you have stripped away, by hook or by crook, the culture,
the societal programming and the money paradigm, you uncover the most beautiful
creature in the entire fucking universe! We are humans, and we are spirit beings
cohabiting for a time on this, the crown jewel of our solar system.
In this state of mind, I saw it all; for I WAS ALL. Feel
with me for a moment the love for your children, the love for your best friend
and lover, the most pure love you have ever known. Now put that all together
and multiply by infinity and you will begin to know what I am talking about.
Physically, atomically, chemically and biologically, we are all made of the
very same stuff. We are ALL ONE, and as such, you either love it all, or hate
it all. As long as there is even one element of LOVE, it’s ALL LOVE. For LOVE
is LIGHT – and some is all. Hate is darkness – and love disperses and dissolves
it.
I saw this. I felt this. I touched this. And this is GOD.
The LOVE for all things, and the unity of all things is a mind-fuck, bar none.
In that mental space, there are no enemies...there is only family. And such a
love cannot be described. There are no English words for such, and none do it
justice. I just know that I felt it. And it is GOOD!
Having this experience completely changed my situation.
Outward changes, however, come slower than inward changes. My eyes opened up
one day, and my world does not look the same.
The veil was rent in two that
day. Just as in “The Matrix”, I saw things as they truly are. I see my family
suffering, and fighting, and starving and indulging in what appears to be mass
suicide. There has been a major malfunction! I can now hear the alarms going
off: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! There is too much greed, and people are dying as a result.
There is too much hatred and division, and people are dying as a result. There
is too much apathy, and not enough empathy, and people are dying as a result.
There is too much political corruption, and people are dying as a result. There
is too much exploitation of our planet’s resources, and both the planet and the
people are dying as a result. AND NONE OF IT IS NECESSARY!
How can I NOT say anything???
I KNOW that we can rise above this. I have seen it and felt
it – but we have chosen instead to live in denial of it. It’s just not a
reality you can face if you have not first opened the eyes of your heart to the
idea that we are all ONE! That we are human beings, and we emanate from the
elements of our planet which sustains us. (It’s not like I made this up…)And
once you get this vision, all of the light (LOVE) eliminates the darkness
(hatred), and the choice becomes clear. You choose love, and now all you want
is for your entire family to see and KNOW for themselves what they were created
to be.
So people ask me, “What am I supposed to do? It’s all very
hopeless and frightening!” There is only
one thing you CAN do:
WAKE UP.
Like a sleeping giant, we slowly begin to stir and become
conscious of what is really happening. And you open your eyes, and look around,
and you start to wonder, WTF? What time is it? Where am I? And you focus your
eyes, and you start to take it all in. At one point, the reality of it is
overwhelming and panic begins to rise in your throat, as everything you have
ever known is threatened. But then you remember – from the deepest part of your
soul – that we are ONE. And you feel that touch in your heart that is the very
LOVE of GOD – and the heart of GOD that longs for the unity of itself. It knows
all parts are part of whole. There is no hatred and no division in this space.
There is only LOVE.
It will affect every aspect of your life – and you will
suddenly know what to do. Today. Then tomorrow. You will watch bits and pieces
of your life fall away, like Gulliver’s bonds, and it will be effortless. You
simply let go. And you find that you don’t miss them at all – in fact, you
begin to feel your true freedom. It is not EASY…but it is effortless. There is
a difference. You must simply learn to BE – for that is, after all, what we
are: Human BE-ings. The human is the drop of water – the being is the ocean. And upon awakening, you realize that we already have the
answer: LOVE.
So, forgive me if I don’t perhaps do justice to my cause by
presenting only the problems to be solved without a proper balance of the
solution at hand. I do try. But I cannot remain
silent about these things. They are critical to our very survival as a species
on this planet.. And I just think that’s a really important thing.
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